Category: Featured

Jun 23

Image Love

                                                   Performance Addiction is the belief that perfecting appearance and achieving status will secure love, happiness and respect. It is an irrational belief system hardwired early in life and reinforced by cultural expectations, especially American cultural expectations.      As a result Performance Addicts have great difficulty maintaining intimate relationships. None of us fall in love with a real person initially; we fall in love with an image. In the obsession and compulsion of romantic passion we ...
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Jun 17

What is a Spiritual Learner?

What is a Spiritual Learning The spiritual learner is someone who realizes there is something beyond ourselves that influences and accounts for life events—an intangible that cannot completely be explained. For many this is the work of God; for others it is the work of the “Universe;” and for others it is simply an undefined spiritual experience. A spiritual learner is a person who takes in information from diverse sources, and in terms of religion, he ...
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Jun 4

Empathy-The Path to Truth and Balance

When I wrote The Power of Empathy I defined empathy as the capacity to understand and respond to the unique experiences of another. I knew in my heart and through my experience that empathy was and is the key to personal and professional success. I was basing my opinions on my experience as a clinical psychologist and as a husband, dad, friend and community member.     I knew two things: we are born with this capacity ...
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May 26

Giving in the Wrong Direction

In a recent group interaction two of my divorced female clients were wondering why they can’t seem to maintain intimate relationships with men. I commented that the answer to their dilemma was in the room, meaning that group members know each other well enough to provide a consensus of useful feedback regarding how people function in relationships. This comment caused a bit of uneasiness as one male member indicated he didn’t think he could make any ...
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May 26

Is Anger in the Genes?

Recently in a marital session a husband was apologizing to his wife for his angry outbursts when he comes home from work. “Doc, it’s in the genes, my father would take tantrums all the time, and my brothers are the same way”. I asked him if he got angry with his boss, if he got angry with his friends, with his mother, with anyone other than his wife. The answer to each question was “no”.  He ...
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Change Your Story, Get Free of The Curse of the Capable!
Jan 26

Change Your Story, Get Free of The Curse of the Capable!

Here are the top 10 ways you can Change Your Story: We all write a story about ourselves early in life, realize it is always part fiction. If the mirrors you look into early in life are distorted, so is your view of yourself. Commit to seeing yourself accurately today. You cannot re-write your story alone; we are all too subjective to obtain a rational view of ourselves. Choose rational people to help you re-write your story, to find ...
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10 Ways to Bond as a Family
Dec 23

10 Ways to Bond as a Family

Emphasize the goodness in family members and de-emphasize imperfections. Resist advice giving unless you’re specifically asked for your opinion. Listen more than you talk. Don’t use sarcasm as a means of connecting. Limit alcohol consumption as it detracts from genuine relating. Pay attention to the elders and the youngest, they are more in need of your attention. Make attempts to enter the world of children; don’t spend your time in exclusive adult conversation. Resist favoring those family members whom you have most ...
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The 10 Ways to Manage Holiday Stress
Nov 27

The 10 Ways to Manage Holiday Stress

Remember you don’t get a new family for Christmas or Hanukah. Try to work on accepting the people in your life for who they are, not who you want them to be. Last year’s holidays are a good predictor of this year’s, make a mental note and prepare. Plan on something novel in your holiday preparations, break the monotony and establish a new tradition. Express love directly to those you care about beforehand, it will make the mood warmer ...
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10 Ways to Avoid Holiday Drama
Nov 25

10 Ways to Avoid Holiday Drama

Be realistic in terms of your expectations of yourself and others. Limit alcohol as it will lower tolerance and increase the chance of arguments. Don’t abandon exercise as you’ll need this stress reducer more than ever. Limit simple sugars as they can leave you moody and tense. Focus on those you know are easy to get along and limit exposure to the drama makers. Use music as a calming agent and mood elevator Slow down when you’re tired and let yourself ...
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Andre Agassi, Courage or Fanfare?
Nov 23

Andre Agassi, Courage or Fanfare?

Andre Agassi’s recent revelations regarding his drug use, depression and hatred of playing tennis have attracted much attention. Some have thought his disclosures on national TV and print media were efforts to promote his new book, others have believed that he is purging himself to rid himself of the guilt and shame he has lived with for most of his life. Of course both motives are possible. I have seen the interviews and fall on the ...
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